Rockstar Games presents Table Tennis Review

(X360; $39.99; Rated E; rockstargames.com)

(four stars)

When infamous developer Rockstar Games announced that they were developing an all-new title that would utilize the power of the Xbox 360, all the folks in Videogameland were a-twitter about what it would be. After all, when the developer of “Grand Theft Auto” says they’re making something brand new, people pay attention. As excitement built around the unknown title, no one in their wildest dreams would have expected that the poster-child for game censorship would unveil- a Ping-Pong game?

What the..?

After much head-scratching and reasonable skepticism, Rockstar revealed its first screenshots, and dang it if it didn’t look really good. Surely though, from a company as nefarious as Rockstar, there’s an ace up their sleeve.

But no. Not in “Rockstar’s Table Tennis.” There are no guns, no hookers, no rampant violence to enrage Senators and PTA moms alike. It’s just Ping-Pong, in it’s purest, truest, most detailed form. In fact, the only thing controversial about the game is the fact that Rockstar made an uncontroversial game.

But in looking at the history of the developer it makes sense. After all, Rockstar has proved itself in almost every genre with “GTA,” “Manhunt,” “Midnight Club,” “Red Dead Revolver,” and “The Warriors.” Where else is there a challenge to the company, but into the sports genre? And so, bizarre enough, “Table Tennis” was the next-most logical step.

And you know what? It is pretty darn good.

Produced as a “budget title,” “Table Tennis” may not have all of the bells and whistles of a traditional sports game. There are not create-a-player features, no extensive stat-tracking, and no career mode. In fact, the only modes of play are Exhibition, Tournament, Training, and Multiplayer. There are only a handful of characters to choose from and an equally small number of arenas to play in. Simply put: when it comes to options, “Madden” this is not.

The attention paid in the game, however, is in the details: clothing wrinkles, sweat beads, and hair mattes. More importantly, the responsive control and game physics are so pinpoint sensitive that it would be hard to imagine improving upon the mechanics of the game in further releases. The player has total control, using both analog sticks, to control the ball in direction and spin. After progressing through the Tutorial, players will mature from a “Ping-Pong” player, to a “Table Tennis” connoisseur- developing strategies of not just how to return the ball back to their opponent, but when and where.

Putting those talents to the test against the training machine is one thing, challenging another player is a different story. Rockstar’s detail can, again, be seen in the challenging artificial intelligence of the computer-controlled opponents. Once you feel confident enough, take your game online to be shamed by all of the Forrest Gumps on Xbox Live who’ll give you such a paddle-whoopin’ you’ll think you just joined Sigma Chi.

But shortly you’ll realize that after you’ve successfully learned to out-strategize your opponent during a rapid-fire 50-hit volley, the *whoosh* sound of a missed return has never sounded so sweet.

And that’s when “Rockstar’s Table Tennis” has you, in the same way its predecessor had audiences in 1972 when it was called “PONG.”