Transformers: The Game Review

$49.99-$59.99;
Wii, 360, PS3;
Rated T for violence;
transformersgame.com



Did you see what I did there with the title? The Transformers: The Game is reviewed, but it looks like a very dramatic post by calling it "Transformers: The Game Review." It's more dynamic and feels like a further leg of marketing for an already overly-marketed franchise.

But I digress...

Now this is what you call synergy- a game that matches the bravado, scope, and and feel of its theatrical counterpart.

And succeeds at being as dull, uninspired, and aimed at the lowest-common denominator as its Box-office Big Brother. I know Transformers, I played with Transformers, and that, Mr. Bay, was no Transformers movie.

Nor is "Transformers: The Game" any type of Transformers game.

I submit to you the first piece of evidence that proves, beyond a reasonable doubt, that the developers' hearts were not into making this game: the button that enables your robot to turn into its vehicle disguise is called...

The "convert" button.

The "CONVERT" button?!

The game is called "Transformers"! It has the operative verb "transform" in the title! It's a game that's whole purpose is to tell the story about robots that transform into vehicles. And yet, we have a "CONVERT" button?

"Transformers: The Game" suffers severely from an identity crisis. It wants to be a racing and an action title all at once, but doesn't succeed in either genre. Its vehicle controls are off-balanced, making driving a chore and unresponsive- not to mention far from intuitive, the gas and break are not assigned to the left and right triggers like every racing game ever made in the history of consoles with left and right triggers.

As a robot, players won't fare much better. Primary and secondary weapons have little effect on any enemy robots except for the most basic of cannon fodder. Any slightly harder enemies will have shields in place making hand-to-hand combat the only solution to defeating them. However, because the melee attacks are assigned to the same button- players will just mash down repeatedly until the foe explodes into a flurry of cogs and gears.

And pretty much that's the game. Drive here, beat up this guy, drive there, beat up that guy. All the while unlocking extra features in the games like videos or the ability to play in the original G1 Transformer skins. Though the graphics are pretty- especially the transforma- excuse me- the conversions, there's not enough substance in the game to warrant purchasing unless your a die-hard Transformers geek. Even then, your money is better spent on the far-superior "Transformers: Armada" released several years ago for the PlayStation 2.

This title only makes me pine for how cool a next-generation "Transformers" game could be given the right amount of time, direction, and development. If only this wasn't a movie tie-in game, perhaps this could have been a fantastic experience; because really: how hard is it to rally behind a game based on giant transforming robots from outer-space?

Oh well, here's to the games we dream about playing.