Tony Hawk: Ride Review

(Xbox 360, PS3, Wii; $119.99; Rated E10+ for Animated Blood/Lyrics/Mild Suggestive Themes)

(one star)

Speaking of games that are more fun to play than "Brütal Legend," the latest release by Tony Hawk is...

Not one of them.

In fact, "Tony Hawk's Ride" is pretty much the opposite of fun.  In fact, the only time I really enjoyed the game was taking the included skateboard peripheral out of the box in anticipation of playing, and deciding it was time to turn the game off and do something- anything- else.

With occasional releases that slowed the descent, the "Tony Hawk" franchise has been plummeting from relevance and interest for so many years that, hopefully, "Ride" will kill the franchise until The Birdman and Activision can figure out a way to re-imagine the once-seminal series.

"Ride" was supposed to be that reimagining.  Allegedly, Hawk brought the concept of using a wireless skateboard deck with motion sensors to control the game.  Since motion control was all the rage, and Activision had made a boat-load of money from including expensive peripherals in a number of their other games ("Guitar Hero," "DJ Hero," and the night-vision goggles of "Modern Warfare 2"), a $120 skateboarding peripheral seemed to make good business sense at the time- despite the collective cocked eyebrow of the gaming media.

But even if the price of a peripheral-bundled game is exorbitant, it can be overcome by a unique, quality experience (ala, "Rock Band" and to a lesser extent "DJ Hero").  "Tony Hawk: Ride," however, is not a quality experience.  In fact, "Ride" feels like a very rudimentary, broken, last-generation game.  On "Beginner" mode, the steering is automatic, and the player only need concentrate on popping the tail or nose of the skateboard in order to perform a jump/ollie.  Motion sensors on the board, theoretically, register whether the board is twisted or tilted in order to perform flip tricks, and if the board is being held in order to perform grab tricks.

In review, the number of correct maneuvers registered by the board was at about 50%, and because of the delay between performing a movement on the board and that movement being translated to the character on the screen, the game never feels like an extension of the player's movements.  Nor are the movements representative of what real skateboarding is like- and let's not even go into how uncoordinated you will feel on the board as it slips out from underneath you.  In harder difficulty settings, players can choose to steer their character on screen by tilting the board, but when the core trick functions of the game don't work adequately, who cares if you can steer over to where you want to trick?

I tried to divorce myself from the fact that I have played much more fun "Tony Hawk" games through the years, and tried to look at "Ride" from the perspective of a 10-12 year old boy on Christmas morning.  The imprecision of controls from the board, and the inability to use a regular controller for a more traditional "Tony Hawk" experience, leaves me wishing that my parents had just spent the $120 on a real skateboard, helmet, and knee pads.